Anxiety - The Good and the Bad

The Good and the Bad

What is Anxiety? What is it really? Because I am pretty sure it is different for everyone, the same as Depression is. Mental health illnesses are not like regular illnesses, like the common cold for example. 

Picture yourself in a room with another person. You both have a common cold. You will most likely both have a cough, runny nose, headaches.

Now lets say you both have Anxiety issues. One may get a racing heart, whilst the other person may not. You maybe hyperventilating whilst the other person's hands are flexing and moving uncontrollably. One of you may feel nauseous, be physically sick in fact, due to the impact of emotions coursing through the mind and body. Whilst the other holds their head from the loud words and feelings pounding their brain. 

I could go on forever but I am touching a little bit on my last post, about symptoms of Mental Health changing, being different, each person having the same diagnosis but the symptoms being so individual for each sufferer. The triggers that sets the disorder on fire letting it rage, are also different for each person who suffers with Anxiety.

I cannot remember a time in my life where I did not have Anxiety issues, so it is pretty hard to see my self without it. It's pretty sad. Anxiety sometimes has people believing their dying of a heart attack, that was never the case for me. I have been in states so deep in Anxiety that I felt death would be the only way out. Even though I knew from many attacks I have suffered in the past it will eventually stop, a deep enough attack would still make me feel like dying would be the only way to make it end. Anxiety attacks range in severity, for me the symptoms both mentally and physically are different depending on that level of severity. 

The Bad: So I think it is quite self explanatory as to why having an Anxiety disorder is negative. But to create a deeper image...It stops you from doing things that you would have no care in the world doing if you did not have this disorder. It impacts your everyday life dictating to you, controlling you, your in chains. It can cripple you emotionally into thinking the most negative things about yourself. The whirlwind of words and torment that bombards your mind can be so overwhelming that you cant hear whats going on around you. The tight sharp feeling in your chest and abdomen making you feel sick, not wanting the eat. The sorrow washing over you every time you breath. An Anxiety attack is painful, its the shadow that follows you, it doesn't go away. You want to be alone, but even that can be dangerous. Silence speaks the loudest truth. You own mind becomes your worst enemy. 

The Good: There is never a negative without a positive. (There is a positive quote for all suffering with Mental Health Illnesses)

People who see me, who know me, have said they would never guess I have an Anxiety Disorder. But I have suffered and coped with it for so long, it is apart of who I am. I have developed coping mechanisms and distraction techniques for moments of anxiousness. A major attack is a lot more tricky to overcome, but I have done it before and I will do it again. 

Anxiety has saved me from doing many stupid things, it has also put me in such a state of panic and regret when I have done stupid things...so won't be doing those again. It makes me who I am in a positive light. It makes me strong.
I have a career as an Engagement and Recovery worker in an Acute Mental Health Hospital. I now help other people suffering with Mental Health illnesses and I get so many rewards from this. If I did not suffer with my own illnesses, I may not have embarked on this career choice that I enjoy so much. I am in love with my job. Its my way of turning a negative, into a positive. Using my own experiences and knowledge to help other people. 

I could go on forever on the good and bad of having an Anxiety Disorder. But as I said from the beginning, everyone is different. My good and bad may not be other people's good and bad elements of having Anxiety. 

I may create a post in the future for some of my coping mechanisms and distraction techniques. Some of which have successfully helped some of my patients. I plan to also talk medication and support you can receive from professionals. 

But as it stands at the moment due to my current decline in Mental Health, I am taking each day as it comes and writing what comes to mind at the time. If there are any requests or things people would like to know, feel free to get in touch. 

Your Anxiety does not define who you are, but you can decide to let it help, if it can have a positive effect.