Underneath The Mask

“Within our working lives, and perhaps even amongst friends, we see deceptions played out before our eyes: people who pretend to be happy when they are aching with sadness, or to like each other when they feel nothing but contempt. Perhaps these are actions of self-preservation, driven by a will to hide our pain from a wider audience. Within a relationship, though, pretence is indeed both unreasonable and illogical. Admit to being the person you really are. Never play that deadly game of charades.”    - Rachel Abbott

I saw you in my dreams again... And every morning, I wake to realise your not really there. My subconscious is blessed by your presence. I can see and hear you there. It's beautiful. But every night I say Goodbye to you, all over again... A tragedy I relive. It hurts. But I don't want to stop seeing you. If sleep is the only way that I can. Then I shall dream away...

  My Angel It still feels so unreal.  Isolation has been my method of coping. I've been trying to keep numb but the tears always spring back. I have smiled too sometimes, through the tears, as a memory springs to life. Because the memories I have of you are amazing, because you were amazing. You were not just my Nan, you were one of my best friends, a hero, an Angel even in life. I am greatful for the 26 years I personally got with someone so perfect as you.  Today I prepare for tomorrow, the day I must say goodbye for the final time. And it kills.