Underneath The Mask

A Symptom of Poor Mental Health My Appetite In my 'younger days'...wow I sound too mature there...Lets start again. When I was younger and suffering with my mental health illnesses, I would over-indulge when it came to food. In fact...I'd over-indulge during whatever emotion or feeling. I'd eat when I was sad, eat when I was happy, eat whilst with friends, eat out of boredom. I think you get the picture... However I used to get so low and down over my weight, I hated my image, hated my body, hated my face...again, you get the picture... I tried eating healthy, exercising, dieting, the usual weight loss techniques. Due to my lack of energy and commitment to these, I ended up just giving up, slipping backwards, and ended up almost 14 stone. I believe I weighed 13 stone and 9 pounds when I was at my largest. I didn't find that attractive on my 5 foot 4 young self... But still, my habits didn't change. This was due to all sorts of reasons, partly my o...

Self Harm This is quite a sore subject (excuse the pun). However it is an area of mental health which I feel there is still a lot of stigma around, and lack of understanding.  A lot of people do not understand self harm, or why people do it, why they would mutilate their body, and how this act helps them in any way. Well...there are lots of reasons why people feel the impulse to self harm, to feel physical pain. I was 11 years old, when I first cut myself. I cant remember the details as to where and how, I am pretty sure I used a razor. I had no intent to end my life, the wounds were not located anywhere dangerous, although they felt deep. This act of self mutilation became an on-going activity, if you want to call it that. I would cut my arms, wrists, ribs, thighs, hands...for many years. Although you wouldn't be able to tell now if you looked at me. That part of my life is behind me and the scars have now faded away to almost nothing.  There were many re...

Make up and Beauty...And Mental Health Make up and the art of looking 'good' plays a massive role in my journey through various mental health conditions, and daily struggles. I couldn't begin to discuss the countless YouTube tutorial videos I have watched, the practising I have done over the years to grasp what works for me, to find my own look, the looks that make me feel comfortable and confident...hidden.  We are taught from a young age by peers and the media, that we are ugly. To have that drummed into you so young creates severe levels of insecurities, and we all have them. Men and women, boys and girls. We all have insecurities about our selves.  I look like such a different person when I paint my face to how I feel beautiful. But with this comes comments when I don't wear make up. "You look different without make up" "You look better without make up" "You have no make up on, are you ok?" "Why are you not wearing...