Underneath The Mask

Hello Again So as some of you know, I took a break from blogging and have been hand writing a diary instead. The aim being to document often and see if I can notice improvements in my current mental state.  Lately it has been a roller coaster, both good and bad. But at least it's not all bad...right?  I was thinking of scanning and posting my diary entries...and I have also considered doing video entries...what do you all think?  My mind is a little all over the place, so am not entirely sure whats best! The troubles of an over-thinker eh?  Well if you guys would prefer video entries or anything, let me know! As I can talk for England, writing is a little harder. Especially to put across and express certain things.  A quick update of my last couple of days... So I have noticed since escaping a very bad relationship, that I have started eating again and more frequently (and unhealthily). And so I have made the wise decision to try and adapt a...

Taking a Break When I first decided to create a blog surrounding the topic of metal health, when I first decided to write partial clips of my own journey...my aim was to help others. By way of encouragement or support, presenting an understanding due to personal experiences, explain methods, techniques, medication and aid that has helped me; which may help someone else.  But unfortunately due to events this year starting exactly Christmas Eve last year, my mental health has deteriorated...and continues to do so.  I am free falling.   So due to this I need to put my years of experience into stronger use, to repeat my routines and keep myself on track.  I need to go away and concentrate on improving my current state of mind, as I am hurtling backwards.  But don't worry Angels because I am a typical woman...stubborn.  So as I say a temporary goodbye (as I may not post again for a while) i'd like to make sure this is not the end. ...

A Symptom of Poor Mental Health My Appetite In my 'younger days'...wow I sound too mature there...Lets start again. When I was younger and suffering with my mental health illnesses, I would over-indulge when it came to food. In fact...I'd over-indulge during whatever emotion or feeling. I'd eat when I was sad, eat when I was happy, eat whilst with friends, eat out of boredom. I think you get the picture... However I used to get so low and down over my weight, I hated my image, hated my body, hated my face...again, you get the picture... I tried eating healthy, exercising, dieting, the usual weight loss techniques. Due to my lack of energy and commitment to these, I ended up just giving up, slipping backwards, and ended up almost 14 stone. I believe I weighed 13 stone and 9 pounds when I was at my largest. I didn't find that attractive on my 5 foot 4 young self... But still, my habits didn't change. This was due to all sorts of reasons, partly my o...

My Mental Health Illnesses My journey began when I was 10 but took a massive dive by 11 years of age. That was when I had it. That 'it' being Severe Clinical Depression, I also suffer with Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD). It took a while to come to terms with this, to grasp an understanding of two things that, at that age...I knew very little about.  I was self harming from 11 also. A young age to be mutilating and causing physical damage.  By 14 years old I was put on fluoxetine, a prozac anti-depressant medication, and have been on a-ray of different medication ever since. To this day, I am still fighting the battle and have been everyday, but can say after the many things I have tried, many coping mechanisms I have built up, distraction techniques found. I have been coping and dealing with it all differently to my clueless younger self. My mental health troubles have haunted me since I was 10. Now almost 26 it still continues to show up and condemn me. ...