Underneath The Mask

The Day I said Goodbye Chapters 1&2 Chapter 1 It was not goodbye, when your chest did still. It was not goodbye, when your eyelids shut. It was not goodbye, when my hand left yours. Although the action, deeply did cut. The garden I remember, the colours, and the smells. Flowers growing and blossoming, all year round.  The games we’d play, as children in paradise. Let’s not forget, all the eggs we found. I remember the magic times, the happy times, and low times. I remember the moments, each event, each little thing. The atmosphere would surround us, in an aura of colour. I’d confide in you, and the birds would sing. It was not goodbye, when our words were said. It was not goodbye, when you were laid to rest. It was today, that I knew, would be the final goodbye. Today, was the final, test. I wondered around your space, so empty. For each heart break, a tear would fall. A thousand fell in a moment, you saw. As I held up, hol...

Taking a Break When I first decided to create a blog surrounding the topic of metal health, when I first decided to write partial clips of my own journey...my aim was to help others. By way of encouragement or support, presenting an understanding due to personal experiences, explain methods, techniques, medication and aid that has helped me; which may help someone else.  But unfortunately due to events this year starting exactly Christmas Eve last year, my mental health has deteriorated...and continues to do so.  I am free falling.   So due to this I need to put my years of experience into stronger use, to repeat my routines and keep myself on track.  I need to go away and concentrate on improving my current state of mind, as I am hurtling backwards.  But don't worry Angels because I am a typical woman...stubborn.  So as I say a temporary goodbye (as I may not post again for a while) i'd like to make sure this is not the end. ...

  My Angel It still feels so unreal.  Isolation has been my method of coping. I've been trying to keep numb but the tears always spring back. I have smiled too sometimes, through the tears, as a memory springs to life. Because the memories I have of you are amazing, because you were amazing. You were not just my Nan, you were one of my best friends, a hero, an Angel even in life. I am greatful for the 26 years I personally got with someone so perfect as you.  Today I prepare for tomorrow, the day I must say goodbye for the final time. And it kills.