Underneath The Mask

“Within our working lives, and perhaps even amongst friends, we see deceptions played out before our eyes: people who pretend to be happy when they are aching with sadness, or to like each other when they feel nothing but contempt. Perhaps these are actions of self-preservation, driven by a will to hide our pain from a wider audience. Within a relationship, though, pretence is indeed both unreasonable and illogical. Admit to being the person you really are. Never play that deadly game of charades.”    - Rachel Abbott

Whiplash This post is more on the down side than my other posts. But to talk about these topics around mental health, means honesty.  Lately the struggle for me has been incredibly nauseating. I become strong and feel through everything I have already been through in 26 years...that I must be able to get through anything. I keep reminding my self "one step at a time". This year however (which still isn't over yet) I keep putting one foot forward, and being thrown 100 steps backwards...thrown completely off my feet that need to take me forwards, and throws me to the floor.  I go from feeling powerful and strong, to weak in 0.5 seconds. Its like I am not in control of my actions for some moments, for other moments I cannot complete any actions...just lay there thinking of all the stuff I need to do and get done. And when I gather up some motivation and energy, with great difficulty, something happens to set me back.    My career is the only thing going...

Heartbreak It's a Bitch "The saddest thing about betrayal...is it never comes from your enemies". Well isn't that the truth...  Heartbreak...truly excruciating emotional trauma caused as a result of loving someone not worthy.  You never know until it is too late, there is no avoiding it, no cure for it, and the symptoms are a never ending list. You stop looking for the 'imaginary monsters' when you start seeing them in the faces you come to know and even love.  But you cant feel the pain of heartbreak...without feeling love first.  And that capability to love in any respect, is a powerful thing indeed.  Let the pain make you tough.  Heartbreak is a bitch...but i'm not the type of girl that lets a 'bitch' get the better of her.  Breath. Your worth more.