Underneath The Mask

Stress...a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances... Well ain't that the truth... I've been asked a lot of questions lately, by people in my every day life. Friends. Colleagues. Family. How do you cope? How are you so strong? How are you even standing vertical right now? How do you do it? How have you not cracked? They say charming things like... I wish I could be that strong. You deserve a medal. You have been through so much. You work too hard. You're inspiring. I would crack if I was going through all that. I wish I was like you. You're a warrior. It is flattering but I sit and think "there are people out there going through so much more, there are people much worse off than myself".  But this does not mean to say what you are experiencing and feeling isn't bad too. It does not stop the pain thinking this way. The reason I started with this, is because i...

I saw you in my dreams again... And every morning, I wake to realise your not really there. My subconscious is blessed by your presence. I can see and hear you there. It's beautiful. But every night I say Goodbye to you, all over again... A tragedy I relive. It hurts. But I don't want to stop seeing you. If sleep is the only way that I can. Then I shall dream away...

So...I have decided that i'm gonna be brave, and do video entries as well. This, I aim to start rather soon.  My goal is to hopefully inspire, to create awareness, to let others know they are not alone and to potentially minimise the stigma surrounding mental health.  I plan to use my experience from both sides of the page, as a worker in mental health, and also a sufferer, to post frequently about different subject matters.  I would like to delve into various forms of mental health illness, including interviewing individuals who have a diagnosis different to my own. This will hopefully capture a wider understanding, and as I said, create awareness etc. I would greatly appreciate any support! If people could kindly subscribe to my YouTube channel, I would be very grateful.  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyn6I6Zh_3gvbgUDsgv3MXA?view_as=subscriber Thank you so much, and if you have any requests, questions, topics etc you would like me to cover. Please ...

Hello Again So as some of you know, I took a break from blogging and have been hand writing a diary instead. The aim being to document often and see if I can notice improvements in my current mental state.  Lately it has been a roller coaster, both good and bad. But at least it's not all bad...right?  I was thinking of scanning and posting my diary entries...and I have also considered doing video entries...what do you all think?  My mind is a little all over the place, so am not entirely sure whats best! The troubles of an over-thinker eh?  Well if you guys would prefer video entries or anything, let me know! As I can talk for England, writing is a little harder. Especially to put across and express certain things.  A quick update of my last couple of days... So I have noticed since escaping a very bad relationship, that I have started eating again and more frequently (and unhealthily). And so I have made the wise decision to try and adapt a...