Fluctuating State of Mind

Fluctuating State of Mind






My mind is a hard piece of bodily equipment to deal with right now. If only it were as simple as getting an engineer out to fix it...

My moods, feelings and emotions fluctuate daily, sending me on highs and lows and around roundabouts. Its nauseating and unsettling. Any trigger can have me flip from one to the other, my emotional roller-coaster is a bumpy ride, getting through each day okay is a struggle. I can be bubbly, happy, funny and completely on the ball at work. Something small could set those on "Pause" whilst I can feel stressed or angry or anxious, frustrated, embarrassed, confused, feeling 'not with it', and like i am in a different world all together.

It's exhausting.

I can be a total 'social butterfly' to then wanting to isolate my self completely, not really bothering with people or only engaging with a couple of people in my life. I don't ignore people as such but if someone in my personal life texts or asks a question, I would make the conversation very brief. It all depends at each moment, during each day...


Sometimes I feel it would be easier to just have one mood setting, even if it was a negative one. But to rotate from different moods and feelings, to have more than a couple at one given time, is a hard burden to bare. I'm never sure what one to deal with first...
I feel happy and think I could do something productive, but feel sad and lethargic, not wanting to even do so much as household chores...at the same time.
It is hard to put into words as my emotions are quite high at this present time, but maybe that is when it is best to right about it? Then again my mind is telling me I am not explaining it properly and am struggling to find the words...


I never know what to feel at the moment, not that I have any choice in that really. But I am a stubborn young woman and get through each day trying to use positive thinking...however much of a struggle it imposes.
I refuse to be defeated.

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