All Angles

All Angles

It's ok, to not be ok

It is hard to overcome something, when there are so many things to overcome at once. For a while, this year especially, the tragedies have been occurring like a long line of falling dominoes. It seems never ending. 
It encourages my mental health to deteriorate, I can feel it. I absolutely hate admitting 'defeat' as I am a strong character. But...it's ok, to not be ok...
It's ok to ask for help, instead of tackling it all alone. 

I have dealt with my mental health illnesses and tragedies for so long, I thought I had finally a grip on it, had my 'ways' of coping and dealing with them. Lately the struggle has got intensifying and pretty unbearable. I felt embarrassed seeking further help from the Doctors, but why? Self esteem issues? I don't know. 

There is no escape, everywhere I look there is pain, stress, sorrow. Even when I close my eyes. That tension builds, it puts so much strain on the mind...the heart. And each day I have to will myself to keep going, even though all I would like to do is isolate my self in my space, and forget the world. To pretend its not happening won't solve anything though, it just wastes time and prolongs the suffering. 
Everyday I must get up, put my face on (sometimes I struggle) but then I feel so self conscious, grab my stuff and continue each day. Either at work, home trying to will myself to complete tasks/chores, try to socialise and spend time on the people so important to me. 

Each step of each day is a struggle at the moment, no matter where it is the steps are taking me. I'm facing things from all angles. 
But its ok, to not be ok. 


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