Underneath The Mask

Second Chances Well these quotes say a lot, mean a lot and teach a lot...right?  I have always been one strong individual, mentally I mean... Through all the battles I have faced, I have won and come out stronger than I went in.  But lately...I feel weak.  I used to have zero tolerance for being treated poorly by anyone, and I mean anyone... Until I fell in love.   The chances I gave proved pointless and painful. Yet the lesson was still never taught. Maybe because there was always hope? Always something going through my mind attempting to excuse their words, actions, behaviour?  A 'Jekyll and Hyde' kind of character is the easiest and hardest to love.  They make you want to take a bullet for them one minute...and make you want to be the one shooting them the next. They help ease anxiety...but are the very reason your anxious... They make you love them and hate them all at once. They make you smile...then cry in the same ...

Whiplash This post is more on the down side than my other posts. But to talk about these topics around mental health, means honesty.  Lately the struggle for me has been incredibly nauseating. I become strong and feel through everything I have already been through in 26 years...that I must be able to get through anything. I keep reminding my self "one step at a time". This year however (which still isn't over yet) I keep putting one foot forward, and being thrown 100 steps backwards...thrown completely off my feet that need to take me forwards, and throws me to the floor.  I go from feeling powerful and strong, to weak in 0.5 seconds. Its like I am not in control of my actions for some moments, for other moments I cannot complete any actions...just lay there thinking of all the stuff I need to do and get done. And when I gather up some motivation and energy, with great difficulty, something happens to set me back.    My career is the only thing going...

Art Therapy One of my many coping strategies/distraction techniques is art therapy. With 10 years of Photography experience behind me; including a BA Honours degree, participating in photo-shoots and projects can equal a great level of satisfaction. However conjuring up the energy and motivation for that is proving difficult lately to say the least, and I don't perform as many shoots as I used to.  So recently I have been colouring in (like the cool kid I am), using adult colouring books and printable colouring pages, I sit and escape for a little while. And when I finish its a nice accomplished feeling.  If I am out and about, there are some pretty cool apps I have downloaded on my Iphone, for colouring and cross-stitch. They are good for those moments of free time when I am not in the comfort of my own home. To others it just looks like I am playing on my phone in my own little bubble. Other good methods of art therapy; when you lack energy fo...